The SSSS....: Rejected Show Pitches con...

While selecting the three shows to premiere for the site I found myself having to cast several ideas by the wayside. Though they are inventive, unique shows, I felt that some either wouldn't have the longevity needed, or simply weren't up to par.

I'm sure the selection process will interest you as much as it did me so I've decided to share a couple of the rejectees with you today. Maybe someday these ideas will see the light of day, but hopefully not...

Mixed Endings

We take happy endings and twist them to reflect real life situations.

Sample: Nice Looking Lady

A now dolled up prostitute enters into the same high end boutique that
rejected her business the last time she was there.

Shop assistant: Hello, can I help you?

Vivi Anne: I was in here yesterday, you wouldn't wait on me.

Shop assistant: Oh.

Vivi Anne: You people work on commission, right?

Shop assistant: Yeah.

Vivi Anne: Well... good call! Man, I was going to use the credit card that my john gave me and turns out that thing was maxed out! Then they had to indict him on federal charges for embezzlement or some bull like that, so your preconceived notion of me being poor trash was dead on child. I had to get this dress from Old Navy on sale!

(Another shopper looks Vivi Anne up and down)

Customer: You got that at Old Navy?

Vivi Anne: Yes girl, it was on sale too so I only had to pay like $15.

Customer: Oh my goodness, for $15 that's fabulous!

Vivi Anne: Right? And they gave me a coupon, you want one?

Rejected: High end boutiques be hatin'

Hermione and Ron's Amazing Technicolor Hollywood Adventures

f. Monk Seal

Monk Seal: Does she have a borken . button? Broken "." Button even

me: Nope she just thinks she's deep or something and not deeply incompacitated mentally

Monk Seal: Altho Borken Button would be an awesome Harry Potter name

me: That would be nice

Even the whole thing

Altho Borken Bottun
just to mix things up

Monk Seal: Nah for Harry Potter one of them has to be a real word
It's the "Made Up Word : Real Word" school of naming

me: Gotcha Altho Borken Button it is
You should Creative Commons it
And then sell it to JK

Monk Seal: Well tis too late now

me: SPINOFF!

Monk Seal: She's finished

me: So says she, heh

Monk Seal: Hermione moves to the WestCoast to start acting career?
And find love?

Monk Seal: Those wacky network executives
I know I can really relate

me: I'd like to think if Hermoine and Ron can, then you certainly can

Monk Seal: Maybe they'll have a wacky agent
I'm thinking...
Special Guest Star Katie Hopkins

me: You should write a sample for me, Hermoine trying to get a no nudity clause in her contract, Dr. Button helping them along the way. I could do it, but I don't know Potter speak

Rejected: You saw the chat, right? I have no idea what I'm talking about.

The Charming Electrician

A friendly charming electrician fixes his appliances not with technical skill but with sweetness and grace.

Sample: Toaster Roast

Mrs. Smith: Oh Mr. Charming, my toaster won't work. When I put a piece of bread in there it spurts and sparks and causes all manner of havoc! I don't know what to do!

Mr. Charming: Don't worry Mrs. Smith, I'll fix it so it's working perfectly. Can you give us a little time alone?

Mrs. Smith: Oh, well, okay! Sure. I'll be in the living room if you need anything!

Mr. Charming waits until Mrs. Smith has exited the room, then he begins to work his magic.

Mr. Charming: Hey Toaster, has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are...?

Rejected: No, just... no.

Gay Celeb Matchup

First Ep: Skin Anansie & Me'Shell Ndegeocello

Me'Shell and Skin hit it off bonding over a love of Veganism, social justice, and Beyonce's jelly. We follow them through the LA underground as they enlighten and entice onlookers with their anarchist leanings and their awesome lesbian rock vibe.

Me'Shell: The only fur you should wear is me baby.

Skin: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Rejected: Oddly very little love. After Bravo passed we stopped shopping it, because really? Bravo passing on reality gay TV means no one wants it. They must be racist. Sigh...