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Taking a personal day for personal things. New content tomorrow.

Or you know, whatever, heh.

Where's Down Low?

It's that time again again kiddies! Don't these puzzles seem easier and easier when you do more of them? If only real life was such a joy....

CAN YOU FIND HIM?!

Ask A ____ : Advice From NCog001, Someone Who Knows

Ever needed the answer to a question, but couldn't find the right person to ask? Well now you'll finally have top notch advice from the experts. Emo kids, what color of eye shadow really brings out angst? Militant blacks, where's the best place to find marker that won't smudge during rainy protests? Astrology buffs, what sign are you? Find all of that out and more in our bi-weekly advice column!

Next Up: NCognegro
My government name is Nunyo B.I. Bidness, but I go by Ncognegro (Ncog for short). I don't have any actual qualifications from any learning institution, but I have been associated with people who seem to dive head first into wacky ass situations. There's not much out there I haven't seen or dealt with myself, so nothing surprises me anymore, and I usually know how a situation is going to turn out. To be forewarned, I like to tell it like it is, and I could give a damn if people like me. But if you want to know what I think, I'll never steer you wrong, or at least you won't be in worse shape than I found you in.

Q. I've been going out with this guy who I really like for about two months now and we talk everyday we go out together every weekend. He already told me he loved me and I told him he has to give me time but that I really like him a lot. The problem is that he hasn't asked me to be with him! I'm ready for a serious long term relationship. How can I get him to ask without saying that directly? What hints can I give him that I want him to ask me to be his girlfriend?

A. Okay,
You really should've brought this up already. The second he told you he loved you, you should've said "But I'm not even you're girlfriend", and he most likely would've either asked you right then and there, or beat around the bush a bit. Either way, you would have a clear message as to his intentions. At this point, I don't think hints are appropriate. If you told him you needed time, he might be backing off for fear of pushing you away. Tell him that you're ready for a committed relationship, and if he's willing, you'd be more than happy to be his girlfriend.


'-^^\~~~/^^-'

Q. My boyfriend and I have been living together for over 14 months. A couple weeks ago he told me he was not happy living with me and does not think we can carry on living together. His main complaints was that he needed his own space and felt suffocated. However, he told me he doesn't necessarily want to break up. I was furious and told him if he did not want to try and work it out and live together then the relationship is over. We've talked about it several times already and we both can't come to any fair agreements. Now we are both moving out at the end of the month. Is there any hope or should I move on?

A. If you look closely, you answered your own question:

"...told him if he did not want to try and work it out and live together then the relationship is over."

He was willing to still to work on the relationship, but you gave him an ultimatum. I can tell you first hand, guys hate that. If he hasn't already moved on, you need to ask yourself, is this relationship worth compromise on your part. If not, fuck it! Move on! But if it is, then ask yourself honestly what could be gained or lost by separate living arrangements. One thing you should realize is, guys spend their early adult hood running from their parents house, trying to establish a life / space of their own. Sometimes if they lose that sense, they panic. Eventually, if life was good, guys will come back and realize what they were worried about wasn't that important. Or they'll move back into their parents basement and try (unsuccessfully) to start a band.

'-^^\~~~/^^-'

Want to write the columnists about their advice or with new questions?
Send an email to shadystix@gmail.com or comment below!

Haiku Tuesdays With Brett

f. Hostess of the Haiku: Brett Jenkins



why hasn't america
tried to take over the world
with robots?











"beep beep boop boop boop beep boop."


i know every word to this techno song.

Getting To Know Me:

Or what happens when due to increased business Sticky is unable to fill a slot in her lineup. Seriously, this last week has brought a windfall of activity and we will return to our regularly scheduled programs as soon I surface this capsize that is called life.

Anyhoo, last night I was watching quite the delightful program on YouTube and was treated to an uplifting and fulfilling discussion about bi-polar disorder. No this is not a cry out for help but instead a story of my youth, for you see when I was a child (before I put away childish things for permanent) I adopted quite the unusual affliction of involuntary word replacement.

Now, when I tell you this I must stress that it is in no way trying to make light of bi-polarism because it's quite the serious disease, but rather a fun story about words and the world around us.

For a very long time, when I heard the word bi-polar, I immediately thought of the word bicostal, which is mostly slang for those who inhabit two coasts whether it be Londor/NY, or NY/LA or what have you and it was usually due to work or vast riches. Soon however, it began to take on a definition of being synonymous with bisexuality "living on both coasts" you see. Yes, extremely clever I know.

So one day I was driving around with the my friend who was telling the story of her bipolar sister,

"Oh my God she's insane. She gets these crazy ideas in her head like running for president or ending world hunger and then she completely bails on them and cries in a corner for days. Then she'll take her meds for a while and be fine, but as soon as she gets off of them she's right back to being crazy, and our mom is bipolar too so it makes my life miserable."

Now, as a tale of the throes of manic depression this is quite a sadly usual tale, however, as in the mind of someone who has equated bi-polar with bi-costal and bisexual, it's quite harrowing indeed!

"She gets these crazy ideas in her head like running for president and ending world hunger..."

Liking girls makes you want to be president? I thought inwardly (thankfully) as my friend continued her tale.

"She would completely bail on them and then cry in the corner for days!"

Well I would cry too if I had aspirations for presidency and they just fell out from under me. Like, not only could I not be president, but I would also be gay. Like, I'd have the chance to be the first gay president, and it would just be gone. Like, I get why this entire thing is weird, but why would crying about it be any weirder?

"She'll take her meds for a while..."

Lesbianism requires meds?

"But as soon as she's off them she's right back to being crazy!"

Perhaps the medicine is because she's naturally crazy, but what does that have to do with her being gay?

"Our mom is bi-polar too..."

Still? Does their dad know she's sleeping around with women? Her mom never seemed like the kind of woman that would sleep around, but maybe if they have an arrangement of some sort...


And I thought this for the next two years until someone else started to tell of their experiences with bi-polar disorder and actually went to the lengths to explain it. I never admitted to either of them I had no idea what they were talking about, but it's a story I've carried with me forever.
So remember children, ask questions, but never make assumptions, or you might end up telling your friend not to be so hard on her experimenting sister who fancies both genders.


Back to your regularly scheduled programming very soon.