While selecting the three shows to premiere for the site I found myself having to cast several ideas by the wayside. Though they are inventive, unique shows, I felt that some either wouldn't have the longevity needed, or simply weren't up to par.
I'm sure the selection process will interest you as much as it did me so I've decided to share a couple of the rejectees with you today. Maybe someday these ideas will see the light of day, but hopefully not...
Mixed Endings
Sample: Nice Looking Lady
rejected her business the last time she was there.
Shop assistant: Hello, can I help you?
Vivi Anne: I was in here yesterday, you wouldn't wait on me.
Shop assistant: Oh.
Vivi Anne: You people work on commission, right?
Shop assistant: Yeah.
Vivi Anne: Well... good call! Man, I was going to use the credit card that my john gave me and turns out that thing was maxed out! Then they had to indict him on federal charges for embezzlement or some bull like that, so your preconceived notion of me being poor trash was dead on child. I had to get this dress from Old Navy on sale!
Customer: You got that at Old Navy?
Vivi Anne: Right? And they gave me a coupon, you want one?
Rejected: High end boutiques be hatin'
me: Nope she just thinks she's deep or something and not deeply incompacitated mentally
Monk Seal: Altho Borken Button would be an awesome Harry Potter name
me: That would be nice
just to mix things up
It's the "Made Up Word : Real Word" school of naming
me: Gotcha Altho Borken Button it is
You should Creative Commons it
And then sell it to JK
Monk Seal: Well tis too late now
Monk Seal: She's finished
me: So says she, heh
Monk Seal: Hermione moves to the WestCoast to start acting career?
And find love?
me: Yep, with Ron Weasley as her best friend/secret admirer
They've dealt with goblins and drago0ns
but can they deal with MGM studio heads?!
all rights reserved naturally
Monk Seal: Those wacky network executives
I know I can really relate
me: I'd like to think if Hermoine and Ron can, then you certainly can
Rejected: You saw the chat, right? I have no idea what I'm talking about.
A friendly charming electrician fixes his appliances not with technical skill but with sweetness and grace.
Sample: Toaster Roast
Mrs. Smith: Oh Mr. Charming, my toaster won't work. When I put a piece of bread in there it spurts and sparks and causes all manner of havoc! I don't know what to do!
Mr. Charming: Don't worry Mrs. Smith, I'll fix it so it's working perfectly. Can you give us a little time alone?
Mrs. Smith: Oh, well, okay! Sure. I'll be in the living room if you need anything!
Mr. Charming waits until Mrs. Smith has exited the room, then he begins to work his magic.
Mr. Charming: Hey Toaster, has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are...?
Rejected: No, just... no.
Gay Celeb Matchup
First Ep: Skin Anansie & Me'Shell Ndegeocello
Me'Shell and Skin hit it off bonding over a love of Veganism, social justice, and Beyonce's jelly. We follow them through the LA underground as they enlighten and entice onlookers with their anarchist leanings and their awesome lesbian rock vibe.
Me'Shell: The only fur you should wear is me baby.
Skin: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Rejected: Oddly very little love. After Bravo passed we stopped shopping it, because really? Bravo passing on reality gay TV means no one wants it. They must be racist. Sigh...
Monday, July 16, 2007
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Rejected Show Pitches con... |
Sunday, July 8, 2007
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Rejected Show Pitches |
While selecting the three shows to premiere for the site (first pilot appears tomorrow!) I found myself having to cast several ideas by the wayside. Though there are some inventive, unique shows in mind, I felt that some either wouldn't have the longevity needed, or simply weren't up to par. Pallet Alexis Arquette was unavailable. For some reason... A Show of Innuendo Life blogging: Taking your online life offline Sample: Office Space You want to move in tomorrow?" Rejected: It works... too well. Unexpected flack from PFLAG and GLAAD, and bad press due to Scientology affiliation. Regardless the book is the number one underground seller.
I'm sure the selection process will interest you as much as it did me so I've decided to share a couple of the rejectees with you today. Maybe someday these ideas will see the light of day, but hopefully not...
Schizophrenic pre-op transexual detective becomes a serial killer and then dedicates their life to finding the killer.
Sample:
Intro: Davina Brown stars into a cracked mirror inside a seedy apartment in Downtown Miami.
"He thinks he can hide from me? I'm Davina Brown, the finest this city has ever seen and the classiest broad this street has ever known. He can't hide from me, I'll find him, and I'll put him away."
"Stop talking about your dick, Davina! I'm going to the store, you need anything?"
"It's detective Ron! He's a detective that's on the lam. When we find him, we find out who committed this terrible crime. Jesus Christ Ron, do you have any ibuprofen, my head is.. it's killing me, gahhhh!" Davina falls into the floor convulsing in pain.
"You'll never find me Davina, not without finding yourself..."
"Who is that? Who's there- ahhhhh!" Davina passes out in a cold sweat. Seconds later her eyes open looking around the room and taking in her surroundings. A small devious smile crosses her lips and a twinkle glints in her eye.
"At least this chick's got good taste in drapes."
Rejected:
If You Know What I Mean
Sample:
John: So Barbie, do you want me to go get your mail for you, if you know what I mean?
Barbie: Whoa ho ho! I sure do know what you mean! Maybe while you're out there you could put my outgoing mail into your slot... if you know what I mean?
John: Ooh you minx! Well you know the postman only delivers once a day, but I can check it as many times as you like, if you know what I mean!
Barbie: Ooh, check it baby, check it hard! Put some prepaid postage on it! YES! PACKAGE WEIGHT if you know what I mean!
John: Oh GOD!
Rejected:
Self explanatory
"Well no Mr. Johnson, L-O-L! I think your idea is quite dumb and- wait, delete delete delete. I think your idea is quite inspired yet unrealistic.
"What's that Mr. Turner, you want to know what I thought of Mr. Johnson's idea? Well I just told Mrs. Cross yesterday, let me copy you what I said to her, ctl-c, ctl-v. CU L8R!
"Oh emm gee Sarah, that's hilarious! Pardon me while I roll on the floor laughing my black ass off!"
Rejected: 
ASCPA/PETA issues with execution of cat macros.
I Fell In Love with a Gay Man!
Exploitation-esque sequences on how to get what you can't have.
"Did you know I have mom issues?"
"Mom issues? Really? Wow, a gay man with mom issues, and I'm sure they're special unique butterfly mom issues."
"They are. My mom went through the greater part of her life thinkiing her next reincarnation would be that of the ancient Egyptian Butterfly pharaonominus fancicillus. She gave me the middle name Chrysallis. When I was four she swaddled me in rosin for six days and wouldn't feed, bathe, or heed my cries claiming that if she helped me escape the cocoon it would make me weak and I would die. Social services was called in and I was adopted for a short time by a Mexican Federale who would become my mother's lesbian lover."
"Huh. I- I guess that would qualify as special unique butterfly mother issues."
"They're actually indigenous to Asia, but there's a special strain in the heart of the Congo, where my soul lives."
"Would you like to move in together?"
"Honey look, I think you're handsome. I do, I really do. It's just that... I'm not attracted to you. Like, well, you know how you feel about girls? That's... that's pretty much how I feel about you. Yes, I normally find men attractive, but, well, you've seen my ideal man, right? Okay, this is going off track. Alright, would I be adverse to seeing you in a man sandwich? No! In fact I think that little bit of dysfunction would only serve to strengthen our bond, do I want to be the tomato in that sandwich? Well, honey you know how I feel about tomatoes... 
